We gathered for the Befriending Yourself: Spring Meditation Retreat in Berkeley Springs, WV last weekend like students of spring in the nature that we are as well as nature all around us. We turned to the element of wood, our revered teacher for the season, and asked: "What can we learn from you about growing into who we are?" 

As we brought attention to our own experience, we found that one of the signature sensations of spring is discomfort. While we practiced being with it and using acupressure as well as mindful tools to support ourselves, I couldn't help but inquire why... why does it feel like so much discomfort is involved with growth?

I took this question out with me to an early morning meditation on the bench in the picture above, just steps away from our cabin. I looked at the trees all around me and wondered if they feel pain. When the growing gets tough, what do the trees do?

They seemed to whisper in response. In the hush of the morning, in the soft drip-drop of rain, in the rising sing-song of birds, the trees seemed to say: we just keep on growing. Well, I thought, so do we! As I sat there listening, I felt how the energy to grow is an impulse. It's innate. We are a constantly evolving organism. Our cells regenerate continuously. Our brains build new pathways all the time. Our bodies are renewed with every breath. We are intelligently designed for growth! 

So much of what feels uncomfortable to us humans is not the growing itself but the departure from the familiar. Familiar feels comfortable. Familiar feels well-known. All this newness of growing feels risky. We haven't tried it before. We don't know if we'll succeed. We don't know what supports we might need, what new coping mechanisms, who we might want by our side. We don't know yet because it's all brand new. And unfamiliar.

This is so tough for us because our minds translate familiar as safe. You could be working an awful job for 5 years, and it will feel safer than looking for a new one where you might thrive and blossom. Why? Because the awful job is what you know; it's familiar. It doesn't matter that the boss doesn't appreciate you. It doesn't matter that all your talent is going to waste. It doesn't matter that the pay is miserable and the commute horrific. It feels safer than what you don't know. This is primal brain logic.

So when the growing gets tough, what do those of us who feel tough and those of us who feel not-so-tough do? Like the trees said, we just keep on growing. We consciously remind ourselves that this feels uncomfortable because it's new and we've never done this before. We remember that uncomfortable does not mean wrong or unsafe. We listen carefully to the innate pulsation of growth within ourselves and let it guide us. Then we turn to discomfort compassionately and say, "It's ok sweetheart, I know you're scared. I see you, and I am right here with you."

We hold ourselves by the hand and preferably find someone or something else who would too, and... we grow. Yes, just like that. Just like the trees supported by the earth and sun and rain. Discomfort or not, we just grow.


May spring support us to shed what we are not and gently grow into who we are,
-- Shira Oz-Sinai

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Below are a few of my favorite pictures from the retreat, but there are many more! Check out the full album @ https://www.facebook.com/shira.ozsinai/media_set?set=a.1492328310904096&type=3. 

In the last few weeks I've been watching a new growth shoot in my indoor ZZ Plant. It's been reminding me of what a delicate dance of contraction and expansion growing is. This lesson is just in time for transitioning from winter to spring! 

Out of the moist soil climbs a bright green, tightly wound stalk. It stands in stark contrast to the dark, thick green of the mature leaves around it. Slowly, over the course of many days, it unfurls one tender leaf after another. While one leaf opens, the rest remain softly bound together until just the right time. 

I enjoy gently touching the new leaves. They're so soft. Soft and delicate. They remind me of how it's ok to stay curled up inside and that I too will know the right time to open. They remind me that when it is time to open, I can do so slowly. And, they remind me that as I open, expand, and grow, I will feel tender, soft, and delicate. This is the wisdom of early spring. 

Are you experiencing early spring rising in you? Are you feeling like some days you want to stay curled up in bed? And other days you want to take on the whole world? Are you starting to envision what the next few months will be like for you? Perhaps venturing towards summer plans? Most importantly, is there some tender part of you that's beginning to emerge, take shape, and expand?

The Spring Equinox on March 20th marks the astronomical first day of spring in the Northern Hemisphere. So how about an evening of magic, play, and inspiration using oracle cards to call on the wisdom within? This is your invitation to a not-your-ordinary card night! Come celebrate the new season!!!
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Wednesday, March 20, 2019, 6:30 - 8:30pm
@ The Spectrum Center for Natural Medicine
8555 16th Street, Suite #402, Silver Spring, MD 20910

REGISTER @ shiraozsinai.com/spring-meditative-card-night.

Light refreshments included. No previous experience necessary.  


May the rising spring energy support a new part of you into blossoming,
-- Shira Oz-Sinai

If you have a heart that beats and you're over the age of two, you've likely had the thought "I am not good enough" at least once in your life. Most of us are visited quite often by this thought, or one of her sisters: "I don't know enough," "There's not enough time," "I don't fit in," and "There's something wrong with me." 

When we believe these thoughts to be true, when we believe that we are somehow less than, flawed, or damaged, we forget all about the wholeness that we are. It feels far away and frankly unbelievable. In our minds, it may sound something like, "Me? I am whole? But I feel so broken... so imperfect... so limited!" 

But wholeness is not for the mind to comprehend. If you have a heart that beats and you're of any age at all, you are whole. You're wholeness itself. It is your nature.

Feelings of brokeness show up in the wholeness that you are. Feelings and thoughts of imperfection and lack show up in the perfect wholeness that you are. Beliefs that you are somehow damaged or no good arise and dissolve in the vast, luminous, and peaceful wholeness that you are. 

Are you curious about this wholeness? Do you want to experience it for yourself again and again? Do you wish to have such an intimate relationship with wholeness that it reminds you that it's here, that you are ok, that everything is alright, like a good ol' friend? Are you tired of "not good enough" thoughts filling your head? Are you tired of aches and pains in the body that fool your mind into believing that this body is really all there is to you? 

If it's a yes to any of these questions, I invite you to join me in inquiring into wholeness. While the in-person version of the new Wholeness I Am: Yoga Nidra Study Group has filled, there is still room and time to join online. The recordings from each live session are uploaded monthly, and you can leave your questions, comments, and reflections on the private webpage. Learn more @ shiraozsinai.com/wholeness-i-am.

To experience the first few minutes of the Study Group as well as a brief practice with wholeness (9 minutes long), please enjoy the FREE recording below of the opening words and meditation from the first session of Wholeness I Am: Study Group. Enjoy!

Want more? Register now @ shiraozsinai.com/wholeness-i-am.

May all beings intimately know the interconnected wholeness that we are,
-- Shira Oz-Sinai

Remember when you were a kid and Mom, Dad, or another adult taught you to say “Thank you”? Maybe some uncle or aunt gave you a small gift, like a piece of candy or a toy. Maybe a neighbor paid you a mysterious compliment, like “Look at those long eyelashes! You’ll be a heartthrob some day.” But you’re 4 years old, you don’t like sweet mint or that toy, you have absolutely no clue what eyelashes are, and frankly, heartthrob sounds really painful. While you’re trying to hide behind your parent’s legs, someone turns to you and says: “It’s polite to say ‘Thank you’. It’s the right thing to do.”

Fast forward 20, 30, 40 or more years and again someone is telling you to say “Thank you,” only this time it’s your favorite yoga teacher, trusted meditation instructor, or latest email from your local and truly beloved wellness center. Maybe because it’s “The Month of Gratitude” (aka November). Maybe because the latest research shows what the ancient yogis knew, that a gratitude practice results in better sleep at night and a host of other health benefits. Whatever the well-founded and valid reason is, here it is again: someone telling you to be thankful.      

Me? I hate gratitude! That is, I hate fake gratitude. I hate having to fabricate gratitude when I don’t actually feel it. I hate it when my mouth forms the words “Thank you,” but there is no resonance of gratitude in my body. I hate being forced to give thanks. It feels disingenuous, formulaic, hollow, and unnatural. I also really (and I mean really) hate gratitude by comparison. You know the kind, right? You’re somehow supposed to feel grateful cause your lot in life is comparatively better than someone else’s? I can still hear the echoes of an old childhood refrain from the dinner table: “You ought to be thankful and finish your plate! There are starving kids in Somalia.”

How on earth are starving kids in Somalia supposed to make me feel more thankful? Do you feel more thankful every night after you watch the news and learn of the recent tragedies that have befallen humankind? I don’t. Someone else’s misfortunes can never make me feel more happy or grateful. That just leads to sadness, inner turmoil, tension, and guilt. So no, sorry, I cannot feel gratitude for what I have just cause someone else doesn’t have it. That doesn’t work for me.

Which brings me to Thanksgiving. I believe there is a reason why Thanksgiving is in autumn, and it has little to do with pilgrims, harvest, turkey, and Native Americans. It’s because as we witness all the letting go of the season, truth is exposed (read: Fall is not about letting go!). As a tree sheds all its leaves, bare limbs are revealed. As we watch what no longer serves us release out of our lives, we’re inspired to feel and truly appreciate (i.e. feel grateful for) the bare truth of what is.

For me, it’s been more than a season of letting go. Try a year and a half of witnessing about a quarter of my body weight dissolve into thin air along with many long-held core notions of who I am in this body, in this life, and in this world. As I pass through the gates of loss and grief and witness this new nakedness, I am inspired to feel into who I really am and what I am truly thankful for. It ain’t big. I don’t feel thankful for months of trying to figure out what to eat or how fast to go on the treadmill or how to deal with the resulting stomach aches, back aches, and headaches (respectively).

Nope. I am thankful for the cozy little blanket that keeps me warm at night, not because someone else doesn’t have one but because I really love mine. I am thankful for all the support my loving family, friends, and practitioners have given me as my spirit took my body through a deep and cleansing initiation that is preparing me for what’s to come (don’t worry! I am healthy and well). And, I am grateful for all of you and the trust you literally place in my hands daily. How you allow me into your lives. How you share your biggest secrets and most harrowing moments with me and trust that I still stand, still smile, still receive you just as you are with an abundance of love in my heart.

Me? I love gratitude. Real gratitude. And I am so thankful for you, for life, for love.

• As in every November for the past four years, please enjoy an iRest Yoga Nidra meditation on gratitude for FREE throughout the month of November @ https://www.shiraozsinai.com/blog/in-gratitude1708804​.

 

• There are still some openings for acupressure on Veterans Day, 11/12 as well as Wed, Nov 21 and Saturday, Nov 24. Book yours and get much needed peacefulness as well as pre/post-holiday healing and restoration @ www.schedulicity.com/scheduling/SORJJM/services. 

 

• Lastly, many of you have been eagerly asking about Yoga Nidra sessions, seasonal retreats, and new workshops (thank you for the love!). I am one with you in wanting and anticipating these offerings, and I will soon unveil what I have been working on. I ask you to bear with me for just a little while longer as I await a few more scheduling pieces to settle and clear the way for new gems. Please and thank you, for real.

May shedding the no-longer-needed expose deep gratitude in the heart for what is,
-- Shira Oz-Sinai

Over the last few years, I've developed a tradition of sharing some special treat with you in the month of November as a way of saying "thank you." 

This November is no different. 

Please receive my deepest gratitude for YOU! For taking part in classes, workshops, retreats, and private acupressure sessions; for serving as my teachers; for your thoughts, questions, suggestions, and comments; for your continued support and love; and most importantly--for sharing with me your precious presence. 

You have filled my life with a vital richness that inspires me to do what I love most. For this, I am beyond grateful. Please enjoy a FREE iRest Yoga Nidra Meditation on gratitude, available below throughout the month of November. (Learn more about Yoga® Nidra HERE).

Looking for more holiday ease? Acupressure sessions continue regularly throughout the month with sessions available the day before and the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Learn more and schedule your session @ shiraozsinai.com/acupressure.


May feelings of gratitude remind you of the precious gift that you are,
-- Shira Oz-Sinai
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I'M SORRY, this recording is no longer available. Please sign up to receive the weekly email updates (if you aren't already) to learn of FREE recordings and other goodies when they are released.

Fall is not about letting go, rather it's about witnessing what is already passing. Perhaps it’s a question of semantics, but I find the nuanced difference absolutely crucial in supporting us to move through autumn with greater ease.

The ancient Chinese scholars who studied the fall element must have seen much of what we’re seeing now: trees shedding leaves, migratory birds departing, flowers dying. Underneath the surface is an energetic impulse to draw in, to conserve, to release what no longer serves in preparation for the cold months ahead. No wonder it’s been characterized as the season of letting go!

While the mind might think that we can let go at will, we never actually make a decision to let go, do we? We don’t wake up one morning next to a partner whom we love and get along with perfectly and decide, “I want a divorce!” We don’t wake up to a fulfilling and truly rewarding job and decide, “I’m gonna quit!” No, we wake up to the realization that the relationship or job is no longer serving. There’s no decision making, there’s witnessing.

Witnessing means an honest look at the way things are, the natural cycle of life, how all things begin and all things end. When we witness rather than attempt to let go, a space opens up for us to tend to ourselves with great care. It’s an opportunity to see what’s departing and how it has acted in our lives, thank it for what it has given us, mourn its departure, and bid it farewell.

Painful? Very likely. But as recent news or events in life push our grievances up to the surface, the focus on witnessing keeps us in the seat of the observer. When we sit, as a friend, with the discomfort, agony, nostalgia, deep sorrow, and any other emotion that arises, deep healing takes place because we are meeting our experience from the warmth of our never-born, never-dying infinite presence. And that is key to finding greater ease in autumn, and in life.

Need support this season? Experiencing an ending? Want to sit together and tend to the emotions, sensations, and thoughts that are arising? I'm here. Email, call, or book a session @ schedulicity.com/scheduling/SORJJM/services. The next couple of days are fully booked, but there are a bunch of openings next week. See link to schedule. 


May witnessing what's being released reveal to you the precious gem that you are,
-- Shira Oz-Sinai

P.S. Please leave a comment and tell me how autumn is showing up for you!

When our hearts break, when our hopes and dreams shatter, we feel devastated. Crushed. Lost. There’s likely no one among us who has not experienced this. Perhaps a father who was emotionally unavailable. A mother too hurt to tend. A favorite pet disappearing into the night. A wanted job given to another. A 100-year-old tree cut off by the whip of a storm.
 
Our hearts break and break again from birth to the last of our days, from sunrise to sunset, from one moment to the next. Our hearts break and break again over big dreams and small hopes, over small connections and big loves, over big arguments and small silent retreats.
 
How do we live? How do we survive this? How do we find the courage to rise for another day, face potential heartaches, and keep on going? Howwwwwww?
 
Because our hearts break and break again in the wholeness that we are. Our hearts break but who we are is not broken. Our hearts break and break again but wholeness remains. Because. Because we are breaking in wholeness. 

May every heartbreak be embraced in wholeness,
-- Shira Oz-Sinai

The summer solstice is upon us! 

Traditional celebrations focus on cultivating a sense of connection and community with the shared warmth of gatherings, bonfires, merry-making, feasts, and picnics.

These events honor the life-giving force of the sun and the bounty it produces. They're a great reminder for how the warmth of connection heals our wounds of separation--both from ourselves and others. This is a gateway to feeling our always-present bountiful joy. 

Our hearts know this time well. Moved by the rhythms of the nature that we are, our hearts are naturally drawn to (re)connecting with others and ourselves, to unstructured play time, and that embodied fiery experience of being alive, open, and an integral part of the interconnected web of life. 

I find summertime in general, and the week of the solstice in particular, to be especially potent for healing wounds of heartbreak, for easing the rapid heat of anxiety, and for soothing the parts of ourselves that have felt alone for far too long. The way is paved by the gentle warmth of compassion and the safe fire of our presence. This is what guides us back to feeling love(d). 

If you're called to it, I suggest taking a moment to connect with your heart of hearts. Imagine yourself holding it delicately in the palms of your hands and nourishing it with the warmth of your attention, compassion, and love. 

May the peak of sunlight teach us about the peak of love that we are,
-- Shira Oz-Sinai

P.S. Still got my old address in your contact list? Please be sure to delete shira@awakenmyheartnow.com as I can no longer receive any emails sent to that address. Please replace it with info@shiraozsinai.com. ​

Summer's expansiveness and heat can bring up all kinds of feelings. Many of us vacillate between wanting to be on permanent vacation, not wanting to leave the house (ever!), and feeling consumed by anxiety of what exactly to do with our time and really, our lives. 

Chinese medicine points us to the connection between the summer season and the heart. This is not a reference to the physical heart but rather the energetic center in the middle of the chest. It is said that our energetic heart's "job" is to be at peace. Imagine if it were your job, your actual job, to be at peace. What would you do from 9 to 5? What would you need? How would you feel?

When our hearts are at peace, not only do we feel serenity but also joy. Why? Because it's simply so joyful to feel at ease, safe, and secure in your own heart.

We are actually quite lucky in that peacefulness and joy are not just fleeting experiences but innate aspects of being. They do, however, become veiled. We lose sight of our peace. We lose touch with our joy. We forget that we are ok, and we begin to believe that we are not. 

Meditative practices, like Chakra Tai Chi, offer us a place, a gentle way, to remember. Register now @ shiraozsinai.com/summer-chakra.

Can't join me for the class? Please let me know of your interest! It helps inform my future offerings. Also, I'm happy to offer Chakra Tai Chi private sessions and/or acupressure for cultivating joy this summer! So contact me and let me know what you think. 

May all beings experience the joy and peacefulness that they are,
-- Shira Oz-Sinai