Rest and Resistance: Healing the Internal Struggle

Rest—it’s essential, yet so many of us struggle to allow ourselves to truly rest. Have you ever felt like there’s something in you that longs to rest, but another part of you resists it? Maybe you're physically exhausted, yet your mind is racing, telling you that you don’t have time to stop. This internal push and pull can be exhausting, and it’s something that many of us face.

In today’s fast-paced world, we’re taught to stay busy, to keep going, to hustle, and to push through. Rest can sometimes feel like a luxury we simply can’t afford. But what if we could start to heal the internal struggle between rest and resistance? What if we could learn to quiet the noise in our minds and reconnect with the part of us that knows rest is not only necessary, but healing?

In the next few sections, we’ll explore how we can begin to negotiate with that inner resistance, calm our nervous systems to make room for rest, and even understand how our ancestral histories around rest may influence us today. Let’s start by looking at the internal conflict itself and how we can work with both parts of ourselves—the one that craves rest and the one that resists it.

​The Internal Conflict: Learning to Negotiate Between Rest and Resistance

This internal conflict is more common than we think. There’s the part of us that craves rest, the one that knows we need a break, that longs to feel replenished. But there’s also a part that resists, perhaps driven by fear of falling behind, or a deeply ingrained belief that rest is something earned rather than given freely.

I’ve found that the key to navigating this struggle is about negotiation—not forcing one part to win over the other, but inviting both parts to the table. The part that craves rest deserves compassion, and so does the part that resists it. Perhaps you can inquire gently with resistance, asking, “What are you trying to do for me? What would happen if I did rest?” By allowing space for both sides to express their needs, we can start to build trust between them, creating a healthier internal balance where rest and resistance can be honored for what they’re trying to do for you. 

This idea is explored in more depth in Video 1 of the series. I invite you to consider: what if this internal negotiation could be an act of compassion for yourself, rather than another battle?

Calming the Nervous System: Shifting from Fight or Flight to Rest

A significant part of our resistance to rest stems from how our nervous system responds to stress. When we’re in fight-or-flight mode, the body is in a state of high alert, making it nearly impossible to relax or let go. This state is vital in moments of danger, but it’s not meant to be constant. When we’re stuck in this mode, our bodies can’t access the deep, restorative rest we need.

The key is shifting from this heightened state by activating our parasympathetic nervous system—the part responsible for calming us down and helping us relax. There are plenty of little tips and tricks to help with this. You may try: splashing your face with cold water, humming, or counting your breaths backwards from a random number (e.g., breath in and breath out, 17; breath in and out, 16; and so on).

Or, you may try a quick version of the progressive relaxation technique explored in Video 2 of this series. By regularly practicing these techniques, we can train our bodies to move out of the fight-or-flight response and into a state of calm, which helps prepare us for restful moments.

​Ancestral History and Rest: Releasing Generational Tensions

Have you ever wondered why resting can feel so difficult at times, almost like you’re not allowed to slow down? Sometimes, our resistance to rest isn’t just personal—it’s ancestral. Many of us come from lineages where rest wasn’t a priority, where survival depended on constant work and vigilance. This legacy of overwork, of not allowing ourselves to rest, can get passed down through generations, carried in the body as default patterns of pushing rest away.

Healing these patterns can begin with acknowledging them and recognizing that they are not ours to carry anymore. By reconnecting with our innate right to rest, we can begin to release the tension of our ancestors, inviting ourselves to step into a new rhythm of ease and replenishment.

If you’re interested in trying this out, check out Video 3, where we explore how ancestral histories can shape our current relationship with rest and how to release these old patterns.

Conclusion: A Shift Towards Restful Healing

The internal conflict between rest and resistance is something that many of us navigate daily. It’s a dance between our need for rejuvenation and the pressure to keep going. But healing this struggle is possible. By gently negotiating between the parts of us that crave rest and those that resist it, calming the nervous system, and addressing ancestral patterns, we can begin to create space for true rest.

Take a moment to check in with yourself. If your body is asking for rest, consider giving it the space it needs. Rest is not a sign of weakness or laziness—it’s a step toward healing, balance, and overall well-being. The journey to rest starts with the simple act of giving yourself permission to pause.

I’d love to hear how this resonates with you and how you’re navigating your own relationship with rest and resistance. Feel free to share your thoughts below, or reach out for a free consultation if you’d like to explore this further.