Our culture, society, and economic market tend to heavily promote what I call an external, or dependent, sense of safety. "Get insurance and feel safe!" the ads tell us and then prompt us to purchase policies that cover everything from our medical and dental health, our cars and homes, to our computers and credit cards.
And there's essentially nothing wrong with buying insurance. It may prove quite useful not only in times when you really need it but also in turning the volume down on free-floating anxiety and fear. But what these insurance policies can't do for you is deal with the anxiety. They don't actually meet the anxiety. They don't actually tend to the root of fear. They don't actually help you construct and replenish a sense of safety. They can't.
There's no external object, policy, or plan of any kind that can adequately meet the underlining and most basic human need for safety. Because it's not external--it's internal.
I know how very hard it is for the mind to grasp this point. I myself have grappled with it for decades. Growing up in Israel amidst suicide bombings, bus explosions, and café/restaurant blasts, all I wanted was to reach out to something that would make me feel safe inside. Something or someone that will guarantee that I was always and completely safe.
So I searched and searched and searched and finally I found it. But it wasn't outside of me as I originally thought. Instead what I found was an internal sense of safety. It's a sense of safety that does not guarantee that everything will be alright. It's a sense of safety that does not guarantee that I will always be ok. It's a sense of safety that does not guarantee a thing other than my continual commitment to always be here for and with myself. (Read more)