I woke up today noticing sadness. It was deep. It was full. And it left me feeling hollow. After a childhood in Israel at a time when terrorist attacks were prevalent, I feel a deluge of anguish at the mere thought of a single child in America, or anywhere in the world, experiencing the same kind of pain.
But it's not a single child hurting now; there are too many to count. The two year olds and the twenty-somethings. The ones in Las Vegas and the ones in Puerto Rico. Our own children and our child-parts. They all need us! They don't need us to be strong. They don't need us to fix this right now. They just need us--our presence, our love, our attention.
If you regard all emotions as children, then there's likely a host of little ones knocking at your door right now. In the last hour alone, I have been visited by grief and fear, heartache and worry, sorrow and helplessness. Since, like children, what they want is my attention, I give it. How?
I envision adult-me sitting next to child-me, perhaps child-sadness or child-fear. We sit on a comfy couch. It has a velvety surface and child-me runs her fingers on it. She likes the feeling of soft fabric on her palms. As we sit there, I tell her how much I love her and always will, how I regret not having the power to stop bad things from happening, and how I love her and always will.
Then I listen, whether she speaks or not, I just listen. I stay. No devices. No distractions. I simply offer her my presence. That's all she really wants. That's what all our children want, our emotion-children as well as our offsprings. So before the day ends, if you can, sit next to them, tell them you love them, offer them your undivided presence. This is how we heal.
May all children as well as child-parts in us always be met with love,
-- Shira Oz-Sinai
P.S. Not sure what I mean about child-parts or what to tell your child? Email, call, or come see me! I'd be honored to share with you what I've found helpful.
P.S.S. When we give our loving attention to our children, it makes them feel safe. For cultivating a sense of internal safety, I highly recommend Root Chakra for Grounding, a downloadable Yoga Nidra meditation. For you and/or your child (appropriate for ages 6 and up).
What are you telling your kids and emotion-children?
Shira Oz-Sinai is a spiritual teacher trained in iRest® Yoga Nidra meditation and Soul Lightening Acupressure®, two modalities that share the common principle of noticing what arises in awareness as the foundation to living life with ease and in deep and loving friendship with yourself. These are her musings.