Fall is not about letting go, rather it's about witnessing what is already passing. Perhaps it’s a question of semantics, but I find the nuanced difference absolutely crucial in supporting us to move through autumn with greater ease.
The ancient Chinese scholars who studied the fall element must have seen much of what we’re seeing now: trees shedding leaves, migratory birds departing, flowers dying. Underneath the surface is an energetic impulse to draw in, to conserve, to release what no longer serves in preparation for the cold months ahead. No wonder it’s been characterized as the season of letting go!
While the mind might think that we can let go at will, we never actually make a decision to let go, do we? We don’t wake up one morning next to a partner whom we love and get along with perfectly and decide, “I want a divorce!” We don’t wake up to a fulfilling and truly rewarding job and decide, “I’m gonna quit!” No, we wake up to the realization that the relationship or job is no longer serving. There’s no decision making, there’s witnessing.
Witnessing means an honest look at the way things are, the natural cycle of life, how all things begin and all things end. When we witness rather than attempt to let go, a space opens up for us to tend to ourselves with great care. It’s an opportunity to see what’s departing and how it has acted in our lives, thank it for what it has given us, mourn its departure, and bid it farewell.
Painful? Very likely. But as recent news or events in life push our grievances up to the surface, the focus on witnessing keeps us in the seat of the observer. When we sit, as a friend, with the discomfort, agony, nostalgia, deep sorrow, and any other emotion that arises, deep healing takes place because we are meeting our experience from the warmth of our never-born, never-dying infinite presence. And that is key to finding greater ease in autumn, and in life.
Need support this season? Experiencing an ending? Want to sit together and tend to the emotions, sensations, and thoughts that are arising? I'm here. Email, call, or book a session @ schedulicity.com/scheduling/SORJJM/services. The next couple of days are fully booked, but there are a bunch of openings next week. See link to schedule.
May witnessing what's being released reveal to you the precious gem that you are,
-- Shira Oz-Sinai
P.S. Please leave a comment and tell me how autumn is showing up for you!
I woke up today noticing sadness. It was deep. It was full. And it left me feeling hollow. After a childhood in Israel at a time when terrorist attacks were prevalent, I feel a deluge of anguish at the mere thought of a single child in America, or anywhere in the world, experiencing the same kind of pain.
But it's not a single child hurting now; there are too many to count. The two year olds and the twenty-somethings. The ones in Las Vegas and the ones in Puerto Rico. Our own children and our child-parts. They all need us! They don't need us to be strong. They don't need us to fix this right now. They just need us--our presence, our love, our attention.
If you regard all emotions as children, then there's likely a host of little ones knocking at your door right now. In the last hour alone, I have been visited by grief and fear, heartache and worry, sorrow and helplessness. Since, like children, what they want is my attention, I give it. How?
I envision adult-me sitting next to child-me, perhaps child-sadness or child-fear. We sit on a comfy couch. It has a velvety surface and child-me runs her fingers on it. She likes the feeling of soft fabric on her palms. As we sit there, I tell her how much I love her and always will, how I regret not having the power to stop bad things from happening, and how I love her and always will.
Then I listen, whether she speaks or not, I just listen. I stay. No devices. No distractions. I simply offer her my presence. That's all she really wants. That's what all our children want, our emotion-children as well as our offsprings. So before the day ends, if you can, sit next to them, tell them you love them, offer them your undivided presence. This is how we heal.
May all children as well as child-parts in us always be met with love,
-- Shira Oz-Sinai
P.S. Not sure what I mean about child-parts or what to tell your child? Email, call, or come see me! I'd be honored to share with you what I've found helpful.
P.S.S. When we give our loving attention to our children, it makes them feel safe. For cultivating a sense of internal safety, I highly recommend Root Chakra for Grounding, a downloadable Yoga Nidra meditation. For you and/or your child (appropriate for ages 6 and up).
What are you telling your kids and emotion-children?
Shira Oz-Sinai is a spiritual teacher trained in iRest® Yoga Nidra meditation and Soul Lightening Acupressure®, two modalities that share the common principle of noticing what arises in awareness as the foundation to living life with ease and in deep and loving friendship with yourself. These are her musings.